A Time for Hope
by jetsfanforlyfe
Summary: Ryan and Gabriella spend Christmas Eve reflecting on a tragedy. [SSFE for xxFrozenFlowers] Ryella


Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue. Belongs to Disney.

A/N: This is for the Secret Santa Fic Exchange, for xxFrozenFlower. I hope you enjoy it!!

(Rating mostly for one iffy, mildly suggestive scene near the middle)

* * *

Christmas. A time for joy, a time for friends, family and food, a time to remember the good times. A time to celebrate. It is not a time for sadness, or for tears, nor a time for anger or fear. These things are for every other day of the year, every day except Christmas.

* * *

Ryan Evans understood the emotions experienced by his fiancé. He himself had experienced them countless times over the past year, but he had learned to push them aside. Tonight was supposed to be about them, about their growing relationship. He had not expected to come home and find his beloved hunched over the kitchen table of their shared apartment, sobbing uncontrollably into her arms. 

Now, as he held Gabriella Montez in his arms, whispering soothing words in her ear and rubbing her back in gentle circles, his mind floated back to a year before, the day everything had gone wrong. It was every parent's worst nightmare-to find their child unconscious, not breathing. No resuscitation effort, no drug, no miracle could bring their baby girl back to them.

"Baby, I know you're upset, but Angie is up in Heaven, watching over us," Ryan whispered, holding Gabriella closer to him. "She loves you, baby, and nothing can change that."

"Ryan, she's dead," Gabriella sobbed, clutching his shirt and looking into his eyes, her own bloodshot and puffy from the tears she had already cried. "She can't love, she can't feel. She's dead."

"But she knew that we loved her, Gabriella. She knew that her mommy and daddy loved her."

"Oh, Ryan, how can I do this anymore? I can't even pull myself together to bake Christmas cookies."

"It'll get easier, Gabi. There's nothing harder than loosing a child, especially like that."

"But it doesn't get easier, Ryan. It hasn't gotten easier. It's been a year, why do I still feel like it was yesterday?" Gabriella asked quietly, wiping at her streaming eyes with her sleeve in vain.

"It will," Ryan said convincingly, pulling Gabriella's chin up so that she was looking him in the eyes. "It will."

Gabriella's shoulders shook as she buried her face in his shoulder again, and Ryan sighed, the weight of the world pressing down on him. It seemed too much for a twenty-year old college student to deal with, the death of a child and the emotions that followed. The thought of high school, of simpler times, seemed laughable now.

Holding Gabriella to him, Ryan stood slowly, guiding her into the hallway. His parents were due for Christmas Eve dinner any minute, and he knew that Gabriella would be upset if he let her carry on in front of them. Leading her into their shared bedroom, he helped her lie down on the bed, kissing her forehead tenderly as he pulled a blanket over her.

"I'll finish dinner," Ryan whispered, brushing her hair from her face as he gazed lovingly at her. "Get some sleep, you might feel better when you wake up."

"Ryan, why did God have to take Angie from us?" Gabriella whispered, her voice subdued and almost inaudible. "What did she do wrong? What did we do wrong?"

"I don't know," Ryan replied truthfully, at a complete loss for answers. "I honestly don't know."

"She would've grown up to look like you," Gabriella replied, reaching out to touch Ryan's cheek. "She would've looked just like her daddy."

Ryan blinked back his own tears as he smiled softly at Gabriella.

"But she would've have sung like you," he whispered, leaning closer, resting his forehead against hers. "She would've sung like an angel."

"I love you," Gabriella whispered, closing her eyes as she breathed in Ryan's cologne. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Ryan whispered, gently lowering his lips until they met hers, the kiss soft and tender, yet full of passion. It was a miracle that they hadn't grown apart because of the tragedy they had faced, but rather, they had grown closer. It had made them stronger, tightened the bond between them.

"I love you so much," he repeated, kissing her again, but with more passion and force than before.

"I love you," Gabriella replied, pulling a hand behind Ryan's neck and pulling him closer. She slid her hand to the hem of his shirt, but just as she started to slide it off, the door to the apartment flew open with a bang, causing both of them to break apart suddenly.

"Ryan? Gabriella?" Sharpay's voice called from the hallway, and Ryan inwardly cursed, remembering that they had given his twin a spare key.

"Uh-we're-uh-we're coming!" Ryan called, his face red as he scrambled up from the bed, pulling Gabriella with him. They quickly ran out to meet Sharpay, straightening their clothes and hair as they went.

"Hey1" Sharpay exclaimed, kissing Gabriella on the cheek and embracing her brother. She held up a bag of groceries, smiling broadly. "I figured that, since Mom and Dad aren't coming for a while, I'd help you guys finish cooking, since today is-"

"Shar, don't," Ryan cut her off, immediately noticing the change in Gabriella's demeanor. Sharpay had been about to tread on dangerous ground, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to bring Gabriella back to sanity a second time that night.

"Oh," Sharpay nodded, understanding dawning on her face. "I'll be in the kitchen, holler if you need me."

She walked quickly into the kitchen, leaving behind the tense moment that she had inadvertently created.

"Gabriella?" Ryan asked quietly, walking to stand in front of her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she whispered, brushing off Ryan's concern. "It's fine. Everything's fine."

"Come here," Ryan whispered, pulling her into his arms. "It's not fine, and you shouldn't be. I shouldn't be pushing you to deal because I don't want to. It's not fair to you."

"Ryan, it's fine. We're fine. I can deal."

"Gabriella, you keep repeating yourself. It's not fine. You need time to grieve, time to remember Angie, and I shouldn't have expected anything else. This is a tough day for all of us."

"I've had plenty of time to remember her," Gabriella said bitterly, turning away from Ryan. "There wasn't much to remember. She was two weeks old."

Ryan bowed his head slightly, the truth of Gabriella's words sinking in. He pulled her closer, resting his chin atop her head. Unconsciously, his eyes wandered to the picture hanging on the wall of the hallway in its silver frame-Gabriella holding Angie in her arms at the hospital, Ryan sitting behind her on the bed as the two smiled into the camera. That had been, simultaneously, one of the happiest and most terrifying days of his life. The prospect of being a father was frightening but exciting, but he knew it was worse for Gabriella. Remembering that day though, he found it hard to believe that just two short weeks later, they were back in the hospital, tears instead of smiles, sadness instead of joy.

"Ryan?" Gabriella asked quietly, looking up into his eyes. She followed his gaze to the picture, and her face softened with a smile as she looked at their daughter.

"She really was beautiful, wasn't she?" Ryan asked, transfixed by the picture.

"She was," Gabriella agreed, resting her head against Ryan's shoulder, her fingers entwined with his. Sighing softly, her gaze traveled to the ceiling above them.

"Uh, Ryan?" she asked quietly, a hint of laughter creeping into her voice.

"Hm?"

"Did you know that we're standing under mistletoe?" she asked, pointing up at the tiny green and red bundle hanging in the doorway. He smiled, shaking his head.

"Did you?"

"No," Gabriella replied, turning back to face him. "But you know what I have to do now, right?" Ryan nodded, and Gabriella pulled his head closer to hers, one hand braced behind his neck as the other held onto the back of his head. Their lips met as before, and they stood for several moments, locked together, their bodies fitting perfectly, as if they were made for each other.

In that moment, Ryan knew that everything would be okay eventually. No matter how long it took, or how hard it was, they had each other, and they would survive. There were more tough times to come, but they could handle them, together.

Breaking the kiss, Gabriella looked into Ryan's eyes, taking a deep breath before addressing them.

"Ryan, there was a reason I was so upset today. There's something I have to tell you."

"Gabriella?"

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

Christmas. A time for joy, a time for friends, family and food, a time to remember the good times. A time to celebrate. 

A time for hope.

* * *

A/N: Well, that was kind of weird. I hope you enjoyed it, even though it was sad. In case anyone was wondering, Angie died from SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. That's why she died so suddenly. 

Reviews greatly appreciated, as always!

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

jetsfanforlyfe


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